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zapidos:

My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”

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lzbth:

i just almost missed my train because i was taking a personality quiz to find out what fruit I am

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kohwala:

sansaofhousestark:

australia’s got a lot of fucked up shit going on but at least we can say our last mass shooting was 18 years ago

because after it happened we placed higher restrictions on gun ownership

because that’s the logical fucking thing to do

straya

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santanist:

tripped and fell in my heelys jesus take the wheelys

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dutchster:

i have such a busy schedule. i may have to cut out “studying” to make room for “crying over tv shows” and “4 hour nap”

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punnier:

when ur friend remembers ur birthday and u try remember theirs and you just

image

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legalmexican:

Kris Jenner is the real life version of Regina George’s mom

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Only a bad musician blames their instument

My music teacher, when I said I couldn’t play because my recorder was broken. It was literally in two pieces. (via pandyssian)
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cokeflow:

Maybe I am maybelline 

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